Help me to understand how seeing the ego-control heals it? What is it that brings the healing?
Let's first understand that ego-control means resisting what-is. It simply means "I don't like this" "It hurts me" "It makes me mad" "It reminds me of my inadequacy" "It makes me feel less-than." We control whenever we resist, resent or think negatively about anything. In fact anything that takes our joy of living away from us is a form of control. We are either controlling a situation by manipulating it, getting angry about it, trying to overcome it or resisting it or fearing control through anticipation of it, feeling anxious, nervous, victimized and reactionary.
It is at this need to control for fear of being controlled that we suffer the worst kind of ego-control called...LOSING CONTROL!! Loss of control is where we get-out-of-control through violence to others or ourselves, through panic attacks, deep paranoia, deep anxiety or nervous exhaustion resulting in fatigue syndrome and other physical maladies. We literally burn out from fear of loss of control.
Ego and control (in this context) are the same thing. Ego is separation from who we really are, which is love. And here's the paradox, LOVE IS THE REAL CONTROL.
This is the reason why we crave control unconsciously. For instance, here's the power (positive control) of love. Suppose you have an enemy, what would be the greatest power to overcome that enemy? Simply love the enemy. If someone doesn't like you, you can destroy that dislike by loving them anyway and the effects of that dislike will not touch you.
Now, this is where SEEING comes in. See clearly that all you ever want is to feel okay, to feel loved. Since love cannot be attained because it is who we are already, then we can only express it by giving it away. You cannot obtain what you already are and therefore cannot get love. Love is a 'giving' and NOT a taking. This is the secret.
Therefore the secret of seeing that love is a 'giving' and not a 'taking' changes the whole perspective. Now, the question arises, how can seeing heal control? Another word for 'seeing clearly' is forgiveness. Forgiveness is such a great power that spiritual growth (realization) is not possible without it. With forgiveness spiritual realization is guaranteed.
Here's how it works...
Suppose you have a sincere drive to awaken to the truth of you and thus live from it, what would be the quickest and simplest way to attain that? It is through forgiveness. It is simple and quick but it is NOT easy. The ego doesn't want to forgive because it would mean its death.
Advaita devotees will tell you that forgiveness is dualistic and therefore not real. Yes, forgiveness is dualistic but so is self-inquiry dedicated to Self exploration of our true nature. Bhagavan used to say we can use the mind to go beyond the mind. So here is the crux of the matter, forgiveness has to be fully understood and its power is so great that you don't need anything else for realization of your true nature.
There are three levels of forgiveness and it is this process alone that brings the transformation.
FIRST LEVEL of forgiving is just a game we start out with, however, if we are sincere in forgiving, we will soon discover two things that confront us...
If we persist in our drive to forgive, no matter how small or large, then we move into the second level.
SECOND LEVEL is quite a shock because it forces us to see how little we love and how much we like to be in control despite its negative effects of unhappiness, upsetness, fearfulness and anger (separation from love). This second level shows us clearly how many 'games' we have played in our need to be in control and how unhappy we really are.
THIRD LEVEL is when forgiveness becomes real. How? We start seeing, through the help of the second level, that all we ever wanted is to be loved, to be wanted, to be happy and free. We see also how we had used every power in our control-arsenal to sabotage this ease of being. Finally, we see the most life-changing truth of all, there is nothing to forgive at all. And, the moment we see this great truth of our illusion then that itself becomes Quantum Forgiveness. Quantum Forgiveness is the miracle of transformation. This leads you from ego-control to the direct experience of Oneness. This is the true Advaita.
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