You often talk about loving yourself but isn't that dualistic? I mean doesn't it have a selfish tinge to it?
When you love yourself you will discover that it is the most unselfish thing in life. I have conducted hypnotherapy for well over thirty years (which I call Supersentience). In these years I have learned one outstanding truth and it is this...
You don't need to change yourself -- you need to love yourself!!
Picture the vast ocean as Life itself. Now seeing this vast ocean imagine the billions of surface waves and each wave believes it is different and separate. Now, what if each wave would want to belong, to feel its wholeness with the ocean and cry out in its loneliness because it feels separate from it? Isn't this scenario rather absurd when the wave is part of the ocean and the ocean itself?
This is what happens through unawareness of our wholeness with Life, we feel separate and thus suffer emotional pain. Everyone who has not discovered their true nature suffers somewhat from an empty feeling (a sinking feeling) as if something is wrong. All emotional suffering stems from this lack of wholeness, love, oneness.
When we feel this emptiness inside us we automatically start seeking love. We seek love through neediness, wanting to belong, approval, acceptance from others, needing to feel important, recognized, respected but, the paradox is, that the more we seek love the more we convince ourselves we are NOT love. This increases our self-concern, our selfishness, it makes us want to feel as the center of the universe. This need makes us wake up mornings feeling miserable, empty and afraid of life.
We do not realize we are denying the very wholeness we are. We are like the wave that wants to belong to the ocean but feels separate from it. It doesn't yet see how absurd and redundant that suffering is -- this is called self-sabotage or self-punishment. We are seeking ourselves believing we are someplace else. Thus we deny our oneness with life and become dysfunctional. To repeat, all emotional suffering from simple psychological fear to deep anxiety and loneliness is nothing more than ignorance of our true nature of oneness.
To love yourself means to connect with your own BEING nature which is LIFE itself. It is allowing the wave in you to recognize the ocean.
Here's how to return to loving YOU. Take the following steps:
1. Acknowledge the pain you are causing yourself by staying with the gut-wrenching feeling or heaviness in your chest etc and then either lying down or seated, place your hands over the area of your body that you feel this fear and anxiety and say, "I LOVE YOU!" -- say it a few times meaning it and feeling its flavor. Then...
2. Forgive your self judgements and ego-preoccupation known as self-concern. Follow this forgiveness with yet another dose of "I LOVE YOU!" When you start feeling relaxed do the next thing...
3. Say to yourself with a smile on your face, "Thank you!" Feel the gratitude of having the courage and foresight and intelligence to do this self-acceptance.
After a few attempts at this you will begin to feel the grace taking over your life. A shift will take place where all self-concern will abate and in its stead you will genuinely begin to feel a love that is truly heart-warming.
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